they've gone away.

They’ve gone away. Those moments. In real time. They stick. These moments. Sometimes playing like a reel fed into a now defunct

machine that played films in the little town where I grew tall and sick of the things that made most sense. I am here. I am here now on this couch in cotton pants belonging to a man I’ve learned to love through all the thoughts that threw themselves at me along the way. And I guess it’s time to say it’s fine. It’s time to lay my heavy armor down and press pause on the type of fight that drove me forward all these years. It’s time to learn to trust and smile and mean it when before it was all a stage and make believe. I’m scared, but it’s okay. I’m happy to throw all I have in and hope for something beautiful. If I lose, I lose by trying. If it hurts, at least I felt at all.